Tag Archive | relationship completely psyched love communication boyfriend girlfriend marriage divorce friendship

Trust vs. Love Is one more important than the other?

Many people have been betrayed by someone they love.  But how do you move on with that person?  When it’s your mother, do you erase the act and start all over again because she’s your mom?  When it’s your brother or sister, do you erase the act because he/she is family?  When it’s a relative, does that person get the same regard as a parent or sibling?  You love them  because they are your family versus because you have established a real relationship of some sort with the person.

And let’s talk about friends, I guess by today’s standards.  How many foul plays are accepted before you walk away? Or do you have categories, like the friend you go shopping with, or the movies, but a different one for going out, another for couple events?  Do you trust them only within their category? Or do you wholeheartedly trust them; and if they go beyond the barriers they are out for the category or just out? Or are you just a good friend and love them for who they are and want the best for them? (is this an antiquated way of thinking by today’s standards?

Is one more important than the other?  Last thought, when you’re married, do you trust that your spouse is going to take care of you if you should get sick?  Does that other person puts the uncomfortable moments aside and does everything to comfort you? Or does he/she act in the most complaining way; minimalistic-does  what has to be done, and disregard the new things that need attention;the compromising of the self for the sick?  I don’t know. Just pondering if one is more important than the other.

Personally, I think….well you tell me what you think.

Stay in your lane….babe

“Babe you look good.” “ You look sexy in those heels.” “That smile of yours warms me.” “Damn, you look good in that dress!” “And that ass…..mmmmmm.” “ I’m so proud to have you on my arm.” “ I can’t wait till we get home!” “You are the most beautiful woman I know. I’m blessed.”

All of these things are wonderful. However, there is the moment when he says while looking at another woman, “Why don’t you wear your hair like that?”  “That would look good on you.”  “Why don’t you do something else with your hair?”  “Have you ever tried eye lashes?”  “Why don’t you let your nails grow?”

The look of “Why don’t you do something different with your hair? Your belly?  Why don’t you change your hair cut?  Let me update your closet.”  How about this, “let’s do something different in the bedroom.”  “Let’s invite an extra guy over.”  Well, after making the mistake of saying one of the above, I responded and he was not pleased.

STAY IN YOUR LANE!  I love you the way you are…Love me for who I am.

I’m not opposed to spicing things up in the bedroom; or trying new styles in my wardrobe.  But consider where I work; what I do and if it’s appropriate.

There will always be someone more attractive, eye catching for either one of you. And when we have date night, let us do our best to impress each other.  Otherwise, Stay in Your Lane; because I’ve got this.

Communication…sucks!

Communication…sucks!.

The cliche’ “Men are from mars and women are from Venus” is  executed every second of the day.  It’s ridiculous!  It’s amazing that one can communicate with people one doesn’t care deeply about on a regular basis (Social Media) and the people who we deeply care about has us walking on eggshells!  Why is this?  Because we have an engagement and investment in the one we love, we don’t want to rock the boat, make them feel bad, however, we at that point are not respecting ourselves…our own feelings.

Remedy:  Everyone needs to take off the EGO hat, place it on the side and have the conversation of…Listen, Digest..and Respond..If necessary.  It’s not always necessary.  If it doesn’t add to the discussion..it’s not necessary. If it develops the concern or topic..ok.  But make sure the listening factor is totally on.

Although there are several ways of communication it is important to select one that coincides with your relationship.  If a person demonstrates anger by not talking and the other party doesn’t understand the silence…then it’s not working.  Somewhere along the line there has to be a happy median..or it’s not considered communication.  We all need each other..so might as well communicate effectively.