Tag Archive | love

Trust vs. Love Is one more important than the other?

Many people have been betrayed by someone they love.  But how do you move on with that person?  When it’s your mother, do you erase the act and start all over again because she’s your mom?  When it’s your brother or sister, do you erase the act because he/she is family?  When it’s a relative, does that person get the same regard as a parent or sibling?  You love them  because they are your family versus because you have established a real relationship of some sort with the person.

And let’s talk about friends, I guess by today’s standards.  How many foul plays are accepted before you walk away? Or do you have categories, like the friend you go shopping with, or the movies, but a different one for going out, another for couple events?  Do you trust them only within their category? Or do you wholeheartedly trust them; and if they go beyond the barriers they are out for the category or just out? Or are you just a good friend and love them for who they are and want the best for them? (is this an antiquated way of thinking by today’s standards?

Is one more important than the other?  Last thought, when you’re married, do you trust that your spouse is going to take care of you if you should get sick?  Does that other person puts the uncomfortable moments aside and does everything to comfort you? Or does he/she act in the most complaining way; minimalistic-does  what has to be done, and disregard the new things that need attention;the compromising of the self for the sick?  I don’t know. Just pondering if one is more important than the other.

Personally, I think….well you tell me what you think.

Stay in your lane….babe

“Babe you look good.” “ You look sexy in those heels.” “That smile of yours warms me.” “Damn, you look good in that dress!” “And that ass…..mmmmmm.” “ I’m so proud to have you on my arm.” “ I can’t wait till we get home!” “You are the most beautiful woman I know. I’m blessed.”

All of these things are wonderful. However, there is the moment when he says while looking at another woman, “Why don’t you wear your hair like that?”  “That would look good on you.”  “Why don’t you do something else with your hair?”  “Have you ever tried eye lashes?”  “Why don’t you let your nails grow?”

The look of “Why don’t you do something different with your hair? Your belly?  Why don’t you change your hair cut?  Let me update your closet.”  How about this, “let’s do something different in the bedroom.”  “Let’s invite an extra guy over.”  Well, after making the mistake of saying one of the above, I responded and he was not pleased.

STAY IN YOUR LANE!  I love you the way you are…Love me for who I am.

I’m not opposed to spicing things up in the bedroom; or trying new styles in my wardrobe.  But consider where I work; what I do and if it’s appropriate.

There will always be someone more attractive, eye catching for either one of you. And when we have date night, let us do our best to impress each other.  Otherwise, Stay in Your Lane; because I’ve got this.

When saying goodbye is hard to do…

When saying goodbye is hard to do…
So you’ve been in the long term relationship that you thought in the beginning would last a lifetime. You both are opposites; and you see how each person balances the other. However, there has never been any verbal exclusivity. It worked because both parties like the sense of togetherness and separateness at his and her own convenience. Six years down the road, you find yourself wanting a real commitment. What do you do? How do you change the pattern to help the other party understand you are serious?
You start off with the conversation that explains the needs and wants. When he or she reacts opposing, do you stay because there is love there, or do you leave? Do you give the person time to think about what is wanted? If so, how long do you wait? What’s at stake? Is it an all or nothing deal?
Depending on the age, the tolerance will vary. I believe women will put up with the male as long as she can;, however, there will be a breaking point. A point of no return. Is that worth it? Is it not better to leave when you’ve expressed your needs and desires that are not being met? This way at least there’s a possible friendship. Or do you hold out with the hope of him wanting and acting upon the same.
After 45, it’s very difficult to date as a woman. Many have already had families, divorced or with children. And men tend to look for women with body types liking a 30 year old. So that leaves women from 45-50 with young men who don’t seem to be afraid to approach them and hit on them; and can probably yank a hair or two; but no conversation; or the retirees who have different needs and activities because you’re still working. So, what do you do? Do you say goodbye for the unknown? Or do you keep the predictable complacent relationship that warrants half ass happiness?
When do you say goodbye?