Many people have been betrayed by someone they love. But how do you move on with that person? When it’s your mother, do you erase the act and start all over again because she’s your mom? When it’s your brother or sister, do you erase the act because he/she is family? When it’s a relative, does that person get the same regard as a parent or sibling? You love them because they are your family versus because you have established a real relationship of some sort with the person.
And let’s talk about friends, I guess by today’s standards. How many foul plays are accepted before you walk away? Or do you have categories, like the friend you go shopping with, or the movies, but a different one for going out, another for couple events? Do you trust them only within their category? Or do you wholeheartedly trust them; and if they go beyond the barriers they are out for the category or just out? Or are you just a good friend and love them for who they are and want the best for them? (is this an antiquated way of thinking by today’s standards?
Is one more important than the other? Last thought, when you’re married, do you trust that your spouse is going to take care of you if you should get sick? Does that other person puts the uncomfortable moments aside and does everything to comfort you? Or does he/she act in the most complaining way; minimalistic-does what has to be done, and disregard the new things that need attention;the compromising of the self for the sick? I don’t know. Just pondering if one is more important than the other.
Personally, I think….well you tell me what you think.
Do you know, where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? Do you know? Do you get, what you’re hoping for when you look behind and there’s no open door? What are you hoping for? Do you know? The theme from “Mahogany” by Diana Ross rings in my mind on a daily basis. As soon as I get a chance to gather my thoughts and begin to review and analyze the crisis of America regarding race, something else happens. In the 21st Century, the dreams of having a good relationship, having a good job, addressing or not addressing racism still exist. Some of us paint our faces everyday with a strength to keep our jobs, to be good mothers and fathers, to be great educators, people..in all professions..just to survive. We are unable to demonstrate the disappointment with our society in fear of losing our jobs, livelihood. It seems that certain minorities will never have a voice.
I recently read an article regarding Starbucks adding the phrase to their cups attempting to spark a conversation regarding race-relations. I did not think that was an ideal thing for Starbucks simply because their clientele is predominately white and are at certain socio-economic status. In my mind, this would be another forum held by people who it doesn’t directly effect. But, I do commend them on thinking of the idea.
Where do we start as a country? There are African American organizations who are addressing and discussing the issues; which is great. However, we need to have a diverse panel to begin together. We need politicians to put aside their personal agendas, and personal views and acknowledge the problems America is ignoring. News anchors attempt to compile programs to address issues that most minorities already know and face on a daily basis and feel good about themselves because they think they are opening the eyes to Americans. But they are not. They are telling a repetitive story of racism and the inequities in society, but does nothing about…except video tape, and sometimes discuss…but never really attempt to resolve.
Let’s have the conversation. Take the kid gloves off. It’s well overdue. Begin now.
Do you want to go out? What are you up to? Why don’t you come over? Do you have a minute…I need to talk. Let’s go shopping. Have you seen …? These are the questions your single friends will ask at any time of the day or night…that’s until you move in with your guy. The phone calls stop. They don’t even check on you to see how things are going…I take that back…to see if things are going badly. Once things turn out to work out and you’re happy…you can turn your phone in and actually get a pre-paid phone because you are not using minutes with no one other than family members and other people who are in relationships.
He says: Why don’t your girlfriends call anymore? What happened?
She says: I don’t know. I thought they were happy for me.
She doesn’t know how to feel about this. She reflects and re-evaluates how she’s treated them. She recalls always supportive when they were in relationships. She’s helped them with their problems. She gave them a shoulder to lean on and if they ever needed it…a few bucks for whatever.
Many women find it difficult to wish other women happiness. Why is that? They can do it when they are part of a sorority. Or is that forced too…because you’re supposed to be supportive. What is it about? Women can be the most nurturing and giving human being; but when it comes to a friend having a relationship and the friend empty handed.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz the friendship sleeps. It becomes dormant. Were they ever friends? Do you invite them to the wedding? I mean, you’ve never had an argument to end the relationship…it just dissolved within the debauched friendship.
What do you do? Do you call and make them respond to their insecurities? Do you just wish them well? Because really, that’s the type of person you are. Do you care? What do you do?
“Babe you look good.” “ You look sexy in those heels.” “That smile of yours warms me.” “Damn, you look good in that dress!” “And that ass…..mmmmmm.” “ I’m so proud to have you on my arm.” “ I can’t wait till we get home!” “You are the most beautiful woman I know. I’m blessed.”
All of these things are wonderful. However, there is the moment when he says while looking at another woman, “Why don’t you wear your hair like that?” “That would look good on you.” “Why don’t you do something else with your hair?” “Have you ever tried eye lashes?” “Why don’t you let your nails grow?”
The look of “Why don’t you do something different with your hair? Your belly? Why don’t you change your hair cut? Let me update your closet.” How about this, “let’s do something different in the bedroom.” “Let’s invite an extra guy over.” Well, after making the mistake of saying one of the above, I responded and he was not pleased.
STAY IN YOUR LANE! I love you the way you are…Love me for who I am.
I’m not opposed to spicing things up in the bedroom; or trying new styles in my wardrobe. But consider where I work; what I do and if it’s appropriate.
There will always be someone more attractive, eye catching for either one of you. And when we have date night, let us do our best to impress each other. Otherwise, Stay in Your Lane; because I’ve got this.
When I woke up this morning, I didn’t anticipate being alone -Alone in my mind; alone in my relationship; alone in my marriage; alone with my thoughts.
Separation and Divorce is not something that anyone places on their 5,10, or lifetime goal list, but it’s a reality. Learning how to transition is the most easy sounding but difficult thing to accomplish while experiencing this life changing event. Your friends change, your priorities change; life is changing before your eyes. There’s no time for preparation. Although you may see it happening, when it comes to an end it hits you. BOOM! So what do you do? This blog is here to assist; suggest; and help you understand yourself better, make good decisions and move forward in a positive manner. It’s never about the negative but the positive that you must seek and acquire in order to move on with your life. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. It’s very important that you truly know and understand that as that is the only way you succeed.