When saying goodbye is hard to do…
So you’ve been in the long term relationship that you thought in the beginning would last a lifetime. You both are opposites; and you see how each person balances the other. However, there has never been any verbal exclusivity. It worked because both parties like the sense of togetherness and separateness at his and her own convenience. Six years down the road, you find yourself wanting a real commitment. What do you do? How do you change the pattern to help the other party understand you are serious?
You start off with the conversation that explains the needs and wants. When he or she reacts opposing, do you stay because there is love there, or do you leave? Do you give the person time to think about what is wanted? If so, how long do you wait? What’s at stake? Is it an all or nothing deal?
Depending on the age, the tolerance will vary. I believe women will put up with the male as long as she can;, however, there will be a breaking point. A point of no return. Is that worth it? Is it not better to leave when you’ve expressed your needs and desires that are not being met? This way at least there’s a possible friendship. Or do you hold out with the hope of him wanting and acting upon the same.
After 45, it’s very difficult to date as a woman. Many have already had families, divorced or with children. And men tend to look for women with body types liking a 30 year old. So that leaves women from 45-50 with young men who don’t seem to be afraid to approach them and hit on them; and can probably yank a hair or two; but no conversation; or the retirees who have different needs and activities because you’re still working. So, what do you do? Do you say goodbye for the unknown? Or do you keep the predictable complacent relationship that warrants half ass happiness?
When do you say goodbye?

With mayoral elections and other elections coming down the pike, the promise of  honor and loyalty remains to be a consistent song amongst runners and the incumbent.  However, there should be a diary.  A diary of all of the conversations and events that the runners and incumbent experience.  It’s very hard to trust anyone.  Not one official has proven to be 100% because not one official has 100% real power.  So, with modern technology, why is there not a diary, electronic diary, incorporating synopsis of details alongside an instagram or tweet?  This would at least assist the politician in doing the right thing for the masses versus self.

On another note, significant job holders such as superintendents and state appointed employees when taking over school districts should be doing the same thing.  If the objective is to be honest, good, and progressive as a community and society, then what’s there to hide?  A tiny provocative thought.

Communication…sucks!.

The cliche’ “Men are from mars and women are from Venus” is  executed every second of the day.  It’s ridiculous!  It’s amazing that one can communicate with people one doesn’t care deeply about on a regular basis (Social Media) and the people who we deeply care about has us walking on eggshells!  Why is this?  Because we have an engagement and investment in the one we love, we don’t want to rock the boat, make them feel bad, however, we at that point are not respecting ourselves…our own feelings.

Remedy:  Everyone needs to take off the EGO hat, place it on the side and have the conversation of…Listen, Digest..and Respond..If necessary.  It’s not always necessary.  If it doesn’t add to the discussion..it’s not necessary. If it develops the concern or topic..ok.  But make sure the listening factor is totally on.

Although there are several ways of communication it is important to select one that coincides with your relationship.  If a person demonstrates anger by not talking and the other party doesn’t understand the silence…then it’s not working.  Somewhere along the line there has to be a happy median..or it’s not considered communication.  We all need each other..so might as well communicate effectively.

When I woke up this morning, I didn’t anticipate being alone -Alone in my mind; alone in my relationship; alone in my marriage; alone with my thoughts.

Separation and Divorce is not something that anyone places on their 5,10, or lifetime goal list, but it’s a reality. Learning how to transition is the most easy sounding but difficult thing to accomplish while experiencing this life changing event.  Your friends change, your priorities change; life is changing before your eyes.  There’s no time for preparation.  Although you may see it happening, when it comes to an end it hits you. BOOM!  So what do you do?  This blog is here to assist; suggest; and help you understand yourself better, make good decisions and move forward in a positive manner.  It’s never about the negative but the positive that you must seek and acquire in order to move on with your life. YOU ARE IMPORTANT.  It’s very important that you truly know and understand that as that is the only way you succeed.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,300 other followers